The Blog
Read all the posts! They are categorized like this:
- Anger Management (32)
- Ask Rhoberta (6)
- Grow Peace (34)
- Guest Bloggers (5)
- HOME (69)
- Mediation (6)
- Mothers (7)
- News & Chats (3)
- Newsletters (1)
- Peace In Relationships (76)
- Peace In The World (16)
- Relationship Re-Mediation (3)
- Relationship Resources (1)
- SELF (113)
- Inner Peace (88)
- Personal Growth (44)
- Videos (26)
- Meditations (2)
- Music (7)
- TEDtalks (2)
- Things to think about (4)
- WORK (59)
Or, here they are by title...
- Relationship Help: Do You Have a Crazy-Making Partner or Co-Worker? :: 23/01/12
Do you have a partner, boss or co-worker who you would often–operant word, often–describe as crazy-making? Does s/he frequently seem to give with one hand and grab it back with the other? This can be a description of the emotional and verbal behavior of a passive-aggressive person. My friend, Brenda, was telling me about her friend, [...] - Relationship Help: Can relationship problems be solved quickly? :: 16/01/12
Recently, I was working with a couple who were with me for the second counseling session. At the end, the fellow said: “How long is this going to take to know if this relationship can get better?” Big question with no answer. But, what it did highlight that I thought I’d share with you today [...] - Relationship Help: I say “Potatoes” & S/he says “Petahtuhs!” :: 03/01/12
Do you think you might need relationship help because your partner sometimes seems like an alien? Does it seem that the person with whom you are trying to communicate is from a different planet, or speaks an entirely foreign language to you? Well, I don’t know about the planet part, the language difference can [...] - Relationships: What Songs Shaped Your Thinking? :: 29/12/11
Today, in preparation for the New Year, I was painting my front door. Having a great interest in Feng Shui, it is not an unusual thing for me to be upgrading my home and office to welcome in the best possible energy for the New Year. But, here’s what prompted me to write today: while [...] - Relationship Problems: Make This the Holiday Season You Want it to Be! :: 20/12/11
Relationship problems and the holidays? It happens. Oh, we so hope everyone will be different when we visit them this holiday season…especially the difficult, fearful and judgmental ones! In fits of wishful thinking, we hope that any growth we have achieved during the past year will have, by osmosis, been passed along to them. They [...] - Get Celebrating! :: 16/12/11
At the risk of sounding cliché, I’m going to ask – Why do we wait for a designated holiday to start celebrating? I know the daily grind sometimes doesn’t seem like a lot to celebrate about, but when you really consider it, isn’t the fact that you’re breathing in and out worth celebrating?! I think [...] - Relationship Help: Connection is what the holidays are all about. :: 08/12/11
It’s holiday time. Time for seeing friends and relatives, creating traditions, celebrating together. Time for taking time to connect. Time for family relationships and traditions. Time that sometimes seems a little scarce throughout the rest of the year. Sounds great! But, a small problem. Somehow, during the holidays, time becomes even scarcer! Instead of slowing down [...] - Relationship Problems? Take a moment for this! :: 06/12/11
Sometimes we are so mired down in the details of our lives that we forget to lift our heads and see the bigger picture. Today, I just wanted to give you something to warm your heart and lift your spirit…as well as your head. For there to be peace in our relationships, in our life [...]
- Relationship Problems: S/he Who Won’t Be Pleased! :: 01/12/11
Have you ever lived with, or worked with or for, S/he Who Won’t Be Pleased? No matter how much attention, time or effort you give something, it is not good enough. No matter how much you offer, you are discounted for not offering more, or for not offering something different. Relationship problems result. Does it [...] - Family Relationships: Whose story is true? :: 21/11/11
I just returned from a visit to family and friends in Canada. In twelve days, I spent time with many people in five cities. And stories abounded! Life stories, troubling incidents, and shared memories. The one unifying factor in all the stories was that everyone who experienced the story remembered it differently. Some of those [...] - Relationship Help: Got boundaries? Or, faultfinding down to an art? :: 24/10/11
Some people have been carefully trained to be faultfinders. They look for the problems, the inadequacies, the not-quite-good-enoughs, and the less-than-perfects…and pounce! Fault is often the first thing out of their mouths. You might know one or two such folks. Maybe, you’re related to one? Or, married to one? Or, do you have faultfinding down [...] - What Steve Jobs taught us about connecting the dots :: 12/10/11
Life is a continuum. It doesn’t go in fits and starts, even when it seems to be lurching from joy to crisis. Steve Jobs’ legacy for living was to help us see the bigger picture when we could choose to stay complaining in the dark. Have you ever dreaded meeting someone because you knew they [...] - Steve Jobs – on life, death and connecting the dots :: 06/10/11
I invite you to watch this video today and be inspired. Although it is often sad to experience what might seem like the untimely death of someone, today Steve Jobs, he lived well and left an amazing legacy. Each of us can do that. Attached are some of the more inspiring words I’ve heard from a [...]
- Couples Counseling: Walking Alone Together? Answer these questions. :: 05/10/11
Really, I don’t think there are many lonelier places on earth to be than in a marriage…where people are walking alone together. Do you know what I mean? If you have ever experienced it, you will know instantly. I’ve been there and I know. And, I’ve seen it so often in my couples counseling practice. [...] - Relationships Take a Little Willingness! :: 26/09/11
I got a call from a potential client the other day. She has a daughter who is in her twenties with a small child. No baby daddy on the scene. The issue is that the mother says the daughter is always angry with her and she wants to get to the bottom of it. Looking [...] - Can the apple travel far from the tree? Yes! :: 19/09/11
Working with some wonderful men here in my Anger Management classes, I’m so encouraged to see that even though apples don’t fall far from trees, they can get up and crawl far away. And, being their travel guide warms my heart! Whatever our parents showed us by their lifestyle, or told us by their words [...] - Rage. You don’t have to live with it. :: 13/09/11
Rage! That’s different from simple anger. It is another class of upheaval. Rage is defined as “violent and uncontrolled anger.” A whole other class. And, no one needs to live with it, neither the Rager nor the recipient. The operant difference between anger and rage is the violence and the lack of control. We all [...] - Insights into emotional abuse of children :: 07/09/11
Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control or dominate another person. Whether that is through fear, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, guilt, blaming, manipulation or denial. Therefore, emotional abuse is simply any abuse that is emotional rather than physical. It can include belittling, discounting, manipulating the emotions of another and constant criticism. It can be [...] - Making excuses is inexcusable :: 30/08/11
Anticipating a new client in my counseling practice today, I came in early. Preparing for her arrival, I was reflecting on what little I knew about her, yet understanding how great her need was to begin the process of unwrapping and unpacking things that were standing in the way of moving on with life and [...] - Ten essential insights about anger you need to consider :: 26/08/11
Anger is healthy. It lets us know there is something to pay attention to in our environment and relationships. It’s what we do with our anger that makes all the difference to the maintenance of our own health…and to the health of all our relationships. Anger management and anger therapy are the focus of many [...] - An insightful idea that helps in resolving relationship problems :: 19/08/11
This morning I read a quote that caused me to write this post: “People are anxious to improve their circumstances, but unwilling to improve themselves. They therefore remain bound.” ~ James Allen Working with clients and students each day as I do, I know this is true. People want things to change but want the [...] - Can you sow peace and focus on getting ahead of others? :: 08/08/11
Competitive driving? Competing while commuting? That seems to be the name of the game each day as I travel to my office. You likely experience it wherever you are. I’m sure it is not limited to cars and trucks and SUV’s. Likely the same things is truly of tuk-tuks, motorcyles and camels, too. People like [...] - Anger Management: Fearful, Frustrated or Hurt? :: 22/07/11
Anger is an arousal in the body coming from fear, frustration or hurt. Some people like to call anger an emotion, but it isn’t. It is simply that arousal you feel when people do or say things you do not like, or when they cross your boundaries. Teaching anger management classes each week, I know [...] - Relationship Problems: Communicate. Don’t Dance for Two! :: 11/07/11
So often, when a couple comes to see me, one of them is “dancing for two.” You may recognize the pattern: one person knows what the other person thinks, what the other person wants, why the other person does what s/he does and what needs to happen to solve the relationship problems. And, that is [...] - Relationship with Yourself: Integrity – Holding True to Your Vision :: 01/07/11
How many of us had a clear sense of who were were and what were here to express when we were young? I venture to say many of us, however, we were talked out of it, or walked out of it, by the expectations of others, cultural influences, the generally accepted ideas of success, or [...] - Don’t miss the Inspiration, Information & Insights in this Video :: 27/06/11
When I come across an excellent video that is right in alignment with the values, vision, beliefs and purpose I have in writing the Sow Peace® Blog, I am delighted. This one came to my attention and I am sharing it with you right away. I hope you’ll take the 25-minutes to watch it and [...]
- Relationship Problems: Believe Behavior, Not Words! :: 21/06/11
Have you ever been lured into a store with the promise of a great–almost unbelievable–deal? Then, you get there and find that there are conditions: the deal is only available for people with perfect credit, green hair, purple eyes, an IQ of 220 and whose mother had no children? Otherwise, you’re out of luck. Or, [...] - Resolving Relationship Problems: Medication, Meditation or Mediation :: 13/06/11
This post explores the six primary and secondary ways for resolving relationships problems: avoidance, counseling, legal action, medication, meditation & mediation. Which are you using? Is it working? - Relationship Problems: Avoid Auto-Pilot & Cruise Control! :: 06/06/11
BIG MISTAKE! Relationship problems are often the natural result of thinking that our relationships come equipped with auto-pilot and cruise control. Relationship problems arise when we think our relationships can fall into the “Set & Forget” category of life. What are you thinking? People–and, more frequently, men people–think that once the partner, spouse or soulmate [...] - Relationship Problems: It’s About Who I Am :: 01/06/11
Sometimes it’s difficult to remember that what other people think about you is none of your business, isn’t it? We often have relationship problems because other people want us to change, and we are either unwilling or it is not in our natures. Is it a stalemate or a growth point? Likely it has potential [...] - Relationship Problems: Other People’s Expectations :: 24/05/11
There is no way that everyone we meet is going to be someone we like, or someone who likes us. Nor is it going to be that everyone interests us, thinks like us or processes information the way we do. There’s not a problem…unless you think life is a popularity contest! I hope you’re more [...] - Relationship Problems: Are you Waiting for Approval? :: 11/05/11
A friend wants a long-term love relationship, in fact, she would like to get married. She was talking to me about her internet dating adventures the other day. She is well aware of what she is looking for in a partner, and that has matured over this recent dating history. Funny how experience does that! [...] - Relationship Problems: Reflection on the Death of Osama bin Laden :: 07/05/11
When I was much younger, I enjoyed watching the film, Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid. It was a glorification of two notorious bandits who were extremely engaging in their banter, their demeanor and entertaining to an audience. We did not think of the victims of their “antics,” because they were not mean spirited in [...] - Mom: The Gift That Keeps On Giving :: 04/05/11
Our mothers are the single most influential people in our lives. That alone makes her Number One. Well before we are born, her every decision was influencing us: food, drink, smoke, anxiety, stress, rejection, joy, love and acceptance. Every day, who Mom is made its way into who we were becoming. And, then we were [...]
- Relationship problems: I love you, but… :: 02/05/11
That “but” is a killer. I guess I could say–and, so I will–that it is a pain in the butt! For most folks, everything that comes after the ‘but’ is absorbed, and anything good that came before it simply disappears. We are so good at hearing the downside, looking for the faults, waiting for the [...] - Mother’s Day: All Smiles or Gritted Teeth? :: 27/04/11
Mother’s Day is coming. Are you looking forward to that day with Mom now that you’re grown and flown? Here are some tips to resolving relationship problems. - Relationship Problems: Who do I believe? :: 25/04/11
We get information from all kinds of places. If we entrust our thoughts and concerns about our relationship to other people, we will find most folks are all too ready to give us their opinions…along with their tales of “ain’t it awful” and “s/he did me wrong.” In fact, some of them will jump in [...] - Relationship Problems: Blame it on menopause? :: 20/04/11
What ever has happened to our interactions when business acquaintances hug and teachers aren’t allowed to, elementary school students have sex and married folks don’t! No wonder there are relationship problems. There are just as many troubled business folks as troubled teachers…and, I would guess there might be a few more in the former group. [...] - Relationship Problems: How to Recover from A Passive-Aggressive Person :: 18/04/11
One thing that certainly comes near to the top of the list of relationship problems that are uncovered in my sessions with clients is passive-aggressive behavior. Sometimes, it is hard to see it clearly, but it is never difficult to feel its effects. In this three part series, you will get insights about: How to Recognize a Passive-Aggressive Person; How to Respond to a Passive-Aggressive Person and finally, How to Recover from a Passive-Aggressive Person. - Relationship Problems: Why Mediation is a Very Good Idea :: 11/04/11
If you have not used mediation as a resolution strategy for relationship problems, this post will help you understand the differences between mediation and counseling so that you can make a wise choice. When you choose to go to a mediator–whether for a relationship problem at home or at work, you are saying ” THIS MATTERS!” - Making the decision to make a difference :: 09/04/11
Watch this very thoughtful and thought-provoking video. How we each CHOOSE to make a difference is a deeply personal thing. The most important aspect is that we DO it. Expressing our individual nature and purpose in this way is powerful, healing, and vital to the greater good. - Relationship Problems: Can You Fall Out of Love? :: 04/04/11
Is love some kind of dangerous extreme sport? “He fell for her, hook, line and sinker.” “We took the plunge.”… and then, “We’ve fallen out of love.”
Clearly, one has to be intrepid to take up all this extreme activity in the first place. Nature, though, leads us into the heights and depths when we are first smitten. And, there we are: swinging, free of helmets, rip cords and safety harnesses. We have fallen in love…we think. - Relationship Problems: Am I Being my Best Self? :: 28/03/11
To be an emotional grown-up in a relationship takes intention, willingness and reflection. It’s worth it. Learn how to improve your relationship by knowing yourself better now. - What The King’s Speech teaches us about clarity and confidence :: 19/03/11
The King’s Speech offers three very important ingredients for a full, rich life. Read how the three main character in this remarkable movie embody these characteristics and how we can apply them to our own life, contribution and success. - Relationship Problems: Moving towards bitter, or better? :: 03/03/11
In relationships, stuff happens. There are always relationship problems, and they range from incidental to mammoth. When you talk to other people about an issue in your relationship before you have discussed it fully with your partner, you are “dialing for drama.” Read this blog post to understand why that only makes things worse and is voting in the direction of bitter rather than better for your relationship. - Are you a friend, or just “friended?” :: 01/03/11
In these days of social networking, it is wise to make the distinction between being a friend and just being “friended.” Read why this will help you navigate your way through your values and determine the best approach for you in this new social whirlwind. - How to Respond to a Passive-Aggressive Person :: 26/02/11
If you have a person in your life who confuses you regularly with their consistently inconsistent behavior, you may be in relationship with a passive-aggressive person. That can be crazy-making. This post will help you respond in healthy ways…and help you keep your sanity! - Some people enjoy having their knickers in a twist! :: 21/02/11
Oh, the drama! Anything for the drama. You may know a person or two who fit that category. They can be exhausting, but, they are also longing for attention. This post offers insights in the Drama Kings and Queens to help you understand and respond to them considerately…and, with healthy boundaries. - How to Recognize a Passive-Aggressive Person :: 11/02/11
Is there someone in your life that catches you off-guard and drives you around the bend? It may be someone you really love, or want to love, but you feel like life with them is full of “gotchas!” You may well be loving a passive-aggressive person and you’ll get great insights into recognizing that behavior in this blog post. - Why size matters, and what you can do about it. :: 06/02/11
In a world that pushes, motivates or inspires us to “Live Large,” “Go for your biggest dream,” or “Be in it to win it,” it’s a good idea to reflect on what is the right size life, the right size goal, the right size business for you. This post will help you think that through and have the relationship with yourself that will create the results that suit you best. - Why unspoken agreements can be lethal :: 29/01/11
If you are being held hostage, or, at least accountable, for unspoken and unwritten agreements in your relationships with yourself, at home and at work, this blog post will help you find relationship solutions that work. - If you care about your relationship and want it to work, Re-Mediate! :: 24/01/11
When we create relationships, we sometimes fall into unspoken agreements that don’t suit us well over time. Whether the relationship is your primary love relationship, your family, or your workplace team, it is wise to accommodate growth, change and experience by re-mediating your agreements to suit. This post will inspire you take action. - Tips for Communicating with a “Contrarian” :: 19/01/11
If you have a contrarian–a person who always says black when you say white and has no interest in moving towards gray–that you have to work with, or happens to be a family member, these tips can help you. Contrarians seem to take great joy in the “gotcha.” Get insights into improving the relationship here. - Are we all supposed to want to be gazillionaires? :: 16/01/11
How many emails do you get each week suggesting that you should want to be a millionaire, or that you haven’t made it if you’re not one? This blogger is a little tired of all the hype coming from folks who want to become millionaires by selling you their programs to make you a millionaire…or not. It’s time to wake up and smell the herbal tea! - How bringing your family to work can really drag you down. :: 14/01/11
In my seminars on Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work…and Everywhere Else! I ask the audience how many folks came from a home where no one spoke up when they were upset or hurting, the “Do not say boo to a goose” families. Those are the homes of the “Silent Ones.” Then, [...] - Why are we so afraid of conflict? :: 12/01/11
Conflict = Fear to many people. If you don’t feel confident in yourself, your boundaries and your skills, you are likely to avoid conflict. It has an uncanny way of spilling out at the worst times, though. Better to understand why the fear is there with the insights in this post. - Is what you’re paid to do what you’re made to do? :: 10/01/11
Sometimes we try living up to the expectations of others. Sometimes, we settle for what falls in our laps. But the title of this blog post says it all and you’ll find great questions to ask yourself in it. Take some time for reflection on what you are “made” to do. - “Don’t Let External Forces Control You!” :: 06/01/11
Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, founder of Sow Peace™ International, comments on an insightful article by Bob Billingsley about how we must be aware of our reliance on the circumstances and conditions of life, rather than on our own internal decisions. Very worth the read!
- Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and… :: 05/01/11
Thank heaven that we can choose our outlook, but are we exercising that privilege? We are often encouraged to speak discouraging words and take a negative outlook. Take a moment to read these insights that can uplift, inspire and put a spring in your step now. - Peace on Earth Just a Breath Away???? :: 03/01/11
The brain is an amazing gift. This post is so inspiring as it reflects on the remarkable recovery ability of both the brain and this wonderful woman whose story is included. Read how Jill Bolte Taylor used meditation to heal because, as a neuroscientist, she knew what would help her recovery from this potentially-devastating stroke. Very inspiring! - Transforming your new year… :: 30/12/10
My one word theme for 2010 was “receptivity.” And, what an amazing year it has been! I have been receptive to many things: ideas, guidance, love, money, possibilities and opportunities. So much has changed including the opportunity to buy a new house and create a home that I love and will love for a long [...] - Do you have on your holiday slippers, or the real thing? :: 24/12/10
A few posts ago, I shared the quotation from that best expresses why I started Sow Peace™ International: “If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect yourself with slippers than to carpet the whole earth.” It’s time to put on our holiday slippers: the knowledge [...] - Anxiety, tension or peace for the holidays? :: 20/12/10
Today was a full day of pouring rain in sunny San Diego, and, it’s the last days before Christmas. For two good reasons I stayed home: San Diegans, driving and rain don’t mix, and, I didn’t want to experience the tension many folks have about getting where they want to go to get what they [...] - Keeping Your Inner Peace :: 16/12/10
“If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect yourself with slippers than to carpet the whole earth.” ~ Anthony de Mello There is such wisdom there for me. That is why it is the key quotation on my website at Sow Peace™ : it is [...] - Setting boundaries & getting help when you need it. :: 12/12/10
The question: I am seen as someone in the caring mode. All my life in fact. However, now more than ever I need close family members to listen to me and some of my needs. I go into hospital for 2 days on the 21st December and rest at home for 3 weeks after my [...]
- Where can I buy books to help with peace at work? ::
The question: Where can I get books to help with peace at work? There are lots of places to get great books to help you improve workplace communication. Of course, we’re going to recommend right here, first! Dr. Shaler wrote “Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work” for just that reason… because workplace [...]
- Tips to Reduce the Trauma & Drama of Going Home for the Holidays :: 11/12/10
I know there are many folks who are looking forward to going home for the holidays, and, at the same time, dreading it. Their hopes are high that things will be different, and, yet, they fear things will be the same. Mom will be great for the first eight hours and then the controlling/inquiring will [...] - Are perfected duties spiritual, even if you don’t believe? :: 10/12/10
If a person does not believe in spirituality but does all his duties in perfection. Is He/She still a spiritual person ?
- My son is ill… do I quit my job & help, or keep it and visit often? ::
The question: My son has hodgkins lymphoma cancer and he lives in lake elsinore, i live in long beach, california. i want to be with my son through his illness but i work here and go to school. i can take a couple of online classes but i will have to quit work and help [...]
- Dancing Shoes ::
The question was: For one year now my dance partner and I have been dancing and about nine months ago we became intimate. We had a lot of fun together and began making plans to take a few vacation days together. The last we spoke was on the phone three weeks ago when he said [...]
- Sowing Peace from the heart ::
Narayanan Krishnan, of Madurai, India, gave up his career as a 5-star executive chef to bring love, food & peace to the hungry and abandoned on the streets of India. According to Wikipedia, “Krishnan founded his nonprofit Akshaya Trust in 2003. Every day, he wakes up at 4 a.m., cooks a simple hot meal and [...]
- Sorry to be MIA, but… :: 09/12/10
Hi, Friends, I didn’t want to leave you wondering. I’ll be back in blogging mode in a day or three. I unexpectedly spent four days in the hospital. All is well now, so, no worries. They treated me wonderfully well, but, you know, it was no spa weekend! Sow Peace in every moment, Rhoberta Tweet0c952cb06b81f5e8ba950a87af58d4b6 - Have we been trained like elephants? :: 03/12/10
This morning as I was doing my usual reading of Joel Goldsmith, I was struck by this thought: “Is any problem we have with expanding ourselves, realizing true greatness, the result of elephant training?” You likely know that when elephants are captured, they are trained to understand their limitations. The captors put iron bands around [...] - Are the lobsters pulling you back into the pot? :: 01/12/10
Who are you living your life for??? Are you making choices based on other people’s opinion of how you “should” be living your life? of what THEY think is valuable, or worthwhile, or purposeful? of what THEY think is important in life? Staying true to yourself is so incredibly important… and can take a lot [...]
- What does it mean to be “great?” :: 29/11/10
We’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately: What does it mean to be great? We say things like: Have a great day! We had a great time. She is a great woman. We call that “The Great Depression.” He has great fear of failure. So, the word is used for a great many [...] - Ready to turn Thanksgiving into Thanksliving? :: 24/11/10
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! It’s going to be a great day. The turkey is browning, the gravy is made and the family and friends are in a generous, loving mood. After enjoying the wonderful meal, the tradition of going around the table and sharing our “gratitudes” warms our hearts. Thanksgiving: a great start! What if Thanksgiving was [...] - Sow Peace this holiday season… and beyond. ::
As the holidays draw nearer, the idea of Peace becomes more and more visible in everyday North American life. Sadly, it only seems to last the season, then far too many people forget about it. Take a moment and make a conscious decision – and declaration – to REMEMBER to sow peace, this holiday season [...]
- Conscious accumulation ::
Acquiring stuff for the sake of acquiring stuff doesn’t benefit anyone, really… how can you be more conscious with your accumulation? - We’re all ok… :: 21/11/10
Here’s another pop song that has a powerful message. WARNING: there is some course language and strong images in this video – if that offends you, don’t watch… or suspend judgement for a minute to listen to the bigger message. Pink is fearless… and like , is taking the message to the people… we’re all [...]
- Sowing Peace with pop music. ::
If you’re not really that into pop music, i encourage you to drop your judgement for a moment,a nd take a listen to this song by Katy Perry. I’ve never really been that enamoured with her, and admit, never particularly paid that much attention. I’m not all that into pop music… but lately… there are [...]
- There’s an opportunity every minute… ::
Wow! There truly is an opportunity every minute: an opportunity to sow peace within, at home and at work. Today, I’m really thinking about the “within” part because someone mentioned alienating others in a recent blog comment. That is really a “within” matter first, even though it seems to be a very “without” matter in [...] - You are that powerful. :: 18/11/10
What do you expect? That is a powerful beginning! If you can grasp the power of your expectations, you are on your way to changing your life. You are that powerful. - Shut up, will ya? :: 16/11/10
Sometimes, the best thing to say is nothing. - What the @*$#! shall i do with my life? :: 10/11/10
So, the question was… “I’m at a crossroads. I’ve just become free of my most recent career, and don’t quite know what to do now. So i’m trying all these things, reading all the books, attending the webinars… how do i figure out what the @*$#! to do with my life?!?” Have you run into [...]
- Are we living by someone else’s standards? Big question… ::
Last night, in our open group discussion, it came up that we always have the choice to truly be ourselves. That sounds so obvious, but it really isn’t. What came up as we shared was that it is difficult to be true to your own values, vision, beliefs and purpose when others want you to [...] - Clearing the clutter is good for the soul… :: 06/11/10
I have shared with you all that I recently bought a house and moved. To move is a verb. To feel moved in is a whole other thing! I’m still walking around a few boxes while waiting for my marvelous handyman, Dave, to take care of what would be a massive ‘Honey Do” list. Each [...] - An empathic civilization :: 02/11/10
Bestselling author, political adviser and social and ethical prophet Jeremy Rifkin investigates the evolution of empathy and the profound ways that it has shaped our development and our society. This struck me as intense & profound – never mind that the animation is wickedly cool – but the entire “lecture” plunged me into some heavy [...]
- Receiving criticism from unvalued sources… ::
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com Have you ever had someone you hardly knew–and, who hardly knew you–decide to tell you something about yourself that they have noticed and do not like? It’s a strange situation, isn’t it? I think so. I wonder if they think it is a way to build intimacy in a relationship [...] - Be wholehearted – sowing peace will just happen :: 29/10/10
I watched/listened to this talk online – wish I’d been there in person… I had some trouble staying focused because a big part of me was compelled to cry (except for a couple moments when her humour made me laugh right out loud) as I connected to what she was saying… Take a moment – [...]
- Sowing Peace is a life long attitude ::
Perhaps the most stirring example of a life that sows peace… It is people with an outlook like Alice who will bring peace to their communities and the world. Tweetc22731470eb981dd3ce993ad307e8d4e
- Are we being shamed or guilted into buying things? :: 27/10/10
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com Wow! Have you ever been to a seminar that cost you too much, hoping for a solution to take home? I’ll bet you have. I certainly have. How did you feel when they tried to upsell you to the major mega-plan? Were you surprised? Excited? Disappointed? Frustrated?Annoyed? It’s a growing [...] - Get out of the past, forgive yourself :: 26/10/10
Do you know you can CHOOSE not to be stuck in your past? It's simple. Not EASY sometimes, but simple... turn off your inner critic, and move forward.
- What other people think of you is none of your business* :: 20/10/10
We are not here to have people like us. If that were our primary reason for living, we would be contorting ourselves in multiple ways to accommodate each person in our lives. Many folks are actually doing just that. Are you? - Was that an embarrassing moment? :: 13/10/10
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com Technology has glitches. What a surprise! It is inevitable due to the complexity of code, bandwidth and other mystical contributing factors. That’s a given. OK, so, that said, a few days ago some of the seemingly million pieces of technology we use to keep our seventy-plus websites with all their [...] - How is my relationship growing? :: 12/10/10
Learning how to establish and maintain a loving, supportive relationship is much like creating a beautiful garden. It takes information, planning, thought, skill, time, and most of all, attention.
- Is a nudge more effective than a shove? ::
Nudging is catching people doing things right! Use your time and energy for moving the positive forward. Use these ideas from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler to encourage & motivate effectively, negotiate without conflict, criticize without hurt feelings.
- Good boundaries make good neighbours :: 10/10/10
Clear boundaries are a keystone to any successful relationship - at home, at work or at play. Knowing what you're comfortable with, what your non-negotiables are, and how far you're prepared to compromise will help you and the person you're relating to know where things stand and how to communicate accordingly.
- 10-10-10. We love the idea of alignment, but,…..???? :: 09/10/10
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com Today is an auspicious date. In some traditions, it is the day of Triple Happiness. Three perfect tens. There are also special “fives” this month as there are five Fridays, five Saturdays and five Sundays. Apparently, this only happens every 823 years. It’s so cosmic! Auspicious? Magical? Momentous? Perhaps, but [...] - What do you mean you “have a right?” :: 06/10/10
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com I was working with a couple recently who are having big questions about staying together. At the moment, their relationship is like a teeter-totter: one is up, the other down but seldom is there equilibrium and a meeting in the middle. As we worked through one of the myriad of [...] - Perfection doesn’t bring personal peace ::
Happiness maven, Christine Carter of Greater Good Science Centre in Berkeley CA, discusses the benefits of not being perfect… What do you think? Is perfectionism holding you back from happiness & personal peace? Discuss! Tweetb70f132481aa4db650566808fcad6c72
- Go ahead. Just ask me… :: 02/10/10
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com Just a quick note today….because it might help you right away. My clients have said how great it would be to just “have me in their pockets” when they had a single question. For my weekly clients, that’s as close as their email. For others, though, it was a wish…until [...]
- Oh, patience, grasshopper! :: 28/09/10
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com I just had to laugh at myself a couple of days ago. I made a cell phone call to the most important man in my life while driving sixty-five miles an hour down the San Diego freeway. He didn’t answer. I left voicemail. Here’s where the laugh came: I found [...] - Internet, the best tool for peace :: 22/09/10
What do you think? Tweetf9db865bd6d2c2d2d65fab4192ba29ed
- Your Day of Peace :: 21/09/10
So, here we are on the United Nations declared “International Day of Peace”. How are you participating? What will you do – today – to make a contribution to peace, knowing that for the reality of peace in the world to occur, we must each first find peace in ourselves, in our families, in our [...]
- Peace starts… with you. ::
A Peace Day Message from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, founder of Sow Peace™ Sign the Declaration! Better yet, become a member. Membership is free, join today. Tweeta6047f7986a71c5e6c8c3484c665a4d8
- What a month!!!! :: 25/08/10
Dear Friends, I’ve been MIA here at the Sow Peace site and blog for a month. That’s when I got what I thought was a nasty cold. Being of the mind that I need to look for the metaphorical, emotional and psychological when I get sick, I thought that all the congestion was well-earned. I’ve [...] - Can we have peace in a hurry? :: 18/07/10
It’s the little things that can both let us know when peace is eluding us and when we are encroaching on another’s peace. Here’s a good example that happenes way too frequently. Read on. - Instrument of Peace :: 12/07/10
Beautiful song by Olivia Newton John… Please note, some of the images in this video may be disturbing to some viewers. Tweet133a774707378ca603cb647466d11fc3
- worldwide moment of peace – 10-10-10 ::
here’s an interesting project that’s raising awareness & engaging the digital age in peace… perhaps you’d like to participate too! take a picture on 10-10-10 at 10:10am GMT that tells your story of peace… http://worldwidemoment.org/ Tweetf3d22416984605dad1850aea43654581
- Peace in the world is only possible when you sow peace in your world :: 11/07/10
Are you creating world peace in your world? If not, it is highly unlikely that it will be found anywhere else. Think on these thing…. - Amazon Rainforest Relaxation Video – Natural sounds & Music :: 07/07/10
Amazon Rainforest Relaxation Meditation with natural sounds and quiet music. Listen for up to one hour. It's a gift.
- An Inner Peace Meditation – Beautiful photos with calming affirmations ::
A 3-minute respite from the busyness of your day. Reminds you to choose peace and calmness.
- Dalai Lama – Peace Means Happiness ::
A visual feast set to the music of the film, "Power of Truth." Sit back and enjoy for a few minutes.
- Peace Through Music :: 05/07/10
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- Peace in Perspective ::
Called “The Illusion of Peace” but could just as easily be called “Putting Peace in Perspective” Tweetf24df33b37d986ded5cb162fa88eb9fc
- Heal the World – it starts with you ::
Some images in this video may be disturbing. Music by Michael Jackson. “Heal the world. Make it a better place. For you and for me, and the entire human race.” Tweet0264c2679444b8fb83c97362a995ce51
- Peace Train – Cat Stevens ::
Enjoy! Tweet9b13eb6c978e0441edda852d8a80fc9a
- The Nature of Individual Peace – Maharishi Mahesh Yogi ::
You may need to turn up your volume for this one, as it’s recorded quite low. Tweet2b087c92bacaf908e33360ef5499ae17
- The Tapestry of Life: The place of numbers :: 04/07/10
Fascinated by the idea of numerology? Master numerologist, Lance Shaler, offers insights into the place of numbers in the tapestry of life. Enjoy… - Wise words from a young mind :: 03/07/10
One small step… it’s all we can each take, but imagine if we EACH took that small step, that’s 6 billion steps! Tweetdbbda28f9b5ba147947671bacf4cc4e2
- Peace Pilgrim: An American Sage ::
This hour-long documentary presents an overview of Peace Pilgrim’s life and work. We hope you enjoy and benefit from its message. It is available freely on YouTube, and we encourage you to share it with your friends. Watch Peace Pilgrim: An American Sage Learn more about Peace Pilgrim at http://www.peacepilgrim.com/index.htm Tweetd22e0511054141f23841444406520f62
- Got anger? Three tasks to help you improve your relationships. :: 02/07/10
Anger is a healthy response to crossed boundaries. What you do with it can torch relationships or fan the flames of friendship? These three tasks will help you think through the best next steps for managing your anger…or that of someone you live or work with. - Sowing peace can mean stepping in where you might not want to… :: 30/06/10
So many opportunities present themselves to sow peace. Here’s what happened to me today as I drove down a quiet California street. What would you have done? - Dalai Lama: Inner Peace, Happiness, God and Money :: 28/06/10
The Dalai Lama (in an excerpt from the film "Dalai Lama Renaissance") speaking about Inner Peace, Happiness, God and Money. http://www.DalaiLamaFilm.com. "Dalai Lama Renaissance" is produced and directed by Khashyar Darvich
- I’m curious…what do you think? :: 23/06/10
Some questions that I’d like your input on regarding the broader concepts of life. Please join in… - LIFE: Planting what you want to bloom :: 20/06/10
The old adage about blooming where you’re planted gets an upgrade in this blog post. Plant where and what you want to bloom. Here’s some insights why is is essential. Read on… - How to put love first…in every part of life :: 18/06/10
Where does love start? How do you get enough to give? Some insights on love that may be new for you. Read on…. - What do I want? :: 15/06/10
It’s always a good idea to take a moment to find out what the words we use actually mean. It can be very enlightening…and here’s why>>>Read more. - Cost-free Ways of Improving Couple Relationships :: 02/06/10
Relationship is simply not about the money, yet money is a major cause of divorce. Now is the time to find ways to improve and enhance your relationship. In this blog, it’s all about ones that don’t cost a cent. Read on. It could save your relationship. - AIKIDO & Sowing Peace at Home :: 31/05/10
Wherever we are, in any situation, we can have moments of great insight and clarity. Aikido Master, Paul Rest, contributes this wonderful personal story to demonstrate such a moment with his step-daughter. Such a good reminder of our ability to choose consciously in every moment. Read on…. - Aligning Yourself with Your Desired Achievements :: 29/05/10
Have you examined the alignment between what you say you value and what you are currently doing? This blog post with the story of John will help you clarify that. Read on… - Anger is good. Managing it is imperative. :: 22/05/10
Anger is healthy. It’s how its expressed that is problematic. Here are a few insights into why it is essential to learn anger management skills if you care about your life and your relationships. Read on…. - Ever tried shaking hands with a clenched fist? :: 19/05/10
It’s impossible to shake hands with a clenched fist but that is sometimes what we metaphorically do. Here’s a few insights that will help unclench and undo….read on. - How do we develop our negatives in life? :: 16/05/10
Are you developing litters of negatives by choosing to stay in the dark? You might be using a few phrases you might want to give up. Have a read… - WOMEN: Mothering, nurturing & celebrating! :: 09/05/10
Happy Mother’s Day! This blog post is an invitation to reflect on the ways in which we nurture ourselves, our relationships, our ideas and our contributions to the world. Take a moment and read on… - Patience doesn’t always come naturally :: 07/05/10
Are you treating life as fast food or a slow-cooked gourmet feast? It makes all the difference in how you invest your time and create the life you want. Read on… - Are you reactive, responsive or generative? :: 05/05/10
Are you reacting or responding to life, circumstances and conditions? Or, are you taking the next major leap to being generative? Find out why it is a good idea. Read on…. - What are you “meaning” to do? :: 20/04/10
It is so easy to talk about what we meant to do. Why is this such an insidious phrase and how can it be sabotaging your success? Read on… - Asking for what you need and want. :: 18/04/10
What does it take to confidently ask for what you need and want? What practices support you to do this? - I just don’t know why s/he gets under my skin! :: 15/04/10
Have you ever been ‘gone around’ at work? You know those times when you are the point person for a particular project and your requests for co-operation are ignored or you feel purposefully left out of the loop. Recently I was coaching a management team where this was common. No wonder they were at each [...]
- What is the link between prosperity and peace? :: 11/04/10
Everyone wants prosperity, but do they know what they mean? If they know what they mean, do they know what to do? Interesting insight here….read on. - Sowing Peace Through Aikido :: 03/04/10
By Paul Rest When we begin learning Aikido, we start to move in new ways. Instead of moving in straight lines, or sideways to the left or right, or again, in our old patterns, we find ourselves traveling within and without circles and spirals that feel different to us. We first start by learning how [...]
- No more distractions! :: 02/04/10
A coach screams! Are you frustrated by distractions that prevent you from achieving the success you say you want? This might help. Read on…. - How to Be Resilient in Scary Times :: 31/03/10
Where can we find, and develop, the strength and resilience to keep bouncing back in scary times? Nora Femenia, guest blogger, offers solid answers. Read on… - Women, You Have Advantages! :: 29/03/10
BRAND NEW! Free e-book available now. Getting to the Heart of Relationships: 8 Advantages Women Have At Home, At Work & In Business: http://www.sowpeace.com/?page_id=261 - Can you find peace in decision-making? :: 25/03/10
Are you in turmoil when confronted with a decision? Big or little, decisions can bring up all the baggage we are dragging. For a little peace, read on… - I don’t care what you intend. I care about how it affects me! :: 22/03/10
Do you know how harassment complaints are supposed to be handled? Get this important piece of information now. Read on....
- Are you a Spreader or a Digger? ::
Here's an important question to ask yourself in every situation. Learn more about the question and how it makes an enormous difference to your day and your relationships. Read more...
- Fresh Starts with Difficult People. :: 20/03/10
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com Have you ever painted yourself into a corner in a conversation? You hoped to have what you were thinking of as a “civil” conversation, and it quickly escalated into a multiplying can of worms? No matter how much you didn’t want to “go there,” you went there and even further? [...] - How judgments come back to haunt us…quickly! :: 18/03/10
Every day we get opportunities to choose words, thoughts and behaviors that are in alignment with our values. Here’s an idea or two. Read on… - Karma works both ways. :: 16/03/10
When we do something on the emotions of the moment, we may find it comes back to us in unexpected ways. Think on these things…. - Shake it up. Start conversations in novel ways. :: 14/03/10
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com Want to wake things up and create more engaging conversation? Today I was reminded of a talk I gave a few years ago, so I thought I’d write about it today. What I was talking about was the habitual greeting: “How are you?” So many times we ask or hear [...] - Good boundaries create healthy relationships. :: 11/03/10
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.Rhoberta.com The word boundary in the American Heritage Dictionary is defined as “an indicated border or limit.” One way of looking at that is that a boundary is where one person ends and the other begins. If we were to draw two circles in healthy proximity, the two circles would touch [...] - Conversation trumps competition. :: 10/03/10
When all you have is a hammer, it is said that everything is in danger of looking like a nail. Some people seem to live life as a competition. There are other ways. Read more…. - What has substance & endures forever? :: 07/03/10
What we do lives on and its ripples extend outward beyond our knowledge. Here’s a a few ideas that can help you do that purposefully. Read more… - Meditate? It only takes a moment! :: 06/03/10
What’s your reason for not meditating? Most people seem to have one. This post might help remove that reason. Read on… - Peace is a benevolent state of mind. :: 28/02/10
How we spend our mental and emotional energy is up to us? Take a moment to think about the important distinction in this post. Read more… - What is an even balance? ::
Where do you look to create a sense of balance in your life? Is it serving you? This post is an invitation to consider a new focus that will help you sustain a sense of peace, contentment and joy. Read on....
- Peace is an inside job. :: 25/02/10
A reflection on how one Olympic sport gives us great insight into how we are choosing to do daily life. Read on… - If we’re still yelling at the driver in front of us, peace is a ways off. :: 21/02/10
Are you expending energy and upsetting yourself through righteous indignation? Interesting way to treat your body. Read more… - Love in the Workplace? :: 18/02/10
Just a suggestion, but is it possible your workplace could stand a little more love. One way to make it work....read more
- Confrontation is also NOT a Four-Letter Word! :: 10/02/10
Confrontation? Yikes! If that strikes fear in your heart and makes you want to run screaming from your office building, read on....
- What is harassment? Are you being harassed? :: 04/02/10
You need to know what harassment is and whether or not you are being harassed. Here are some quick ideas for spotting this troublesome...and inappropriate...behavior. Read on...
- Are you enabling a passive-aggressive person? :: 16/12/09
The second post on managing passive-aggressive co-workers. It is imperative to have the strategies you need to manage these absolutely infuriating folks at work. Read on...
- Working with the poster child for passive-aggression? :: 02/12/09
Do you know what passive-aggression is, how to recognize it and what to do about it? This is the first installment in a short series that will be intermingled with other posts over time. Read on...
- Repeated poor behaviour needs boundaries – even at work! :: 16/11/09
How much do you put up with at work from your employees? Do you know how to up the ante or pull the plug? Here's an example that might help....read more.
- Be direct kindly! :: 09/11/09
When you want to scream but you have to speak respectfully, this post might help. Read on...
- Breathing deeply helps manage stress :: 03/11/09
When your shoulders are taking up residence by your earlobes, you are under too much stress too much of the time. Get these insights, read on...
- Who is the neighbor we’re supposed to love? :: 25/10/09
We all have heard the directive to love our neighbors as ourselves. Do you accept this? If so, what does it mean to you? Thinking about this, read on....
- For What Might This Be Good? :: 24/10/09
If there were "a magic question" you could ask when things seem to be tanking and you seem headed for some deep rabbit holes, would you want to know what it is? Read on....
- Are you a lover? :: 25/09/09
What does it mean to really love someone? It's not an invitation to keep a scorecard, or to be a doormat. Read on...
- Why We Need Agreement About Conflict Management :: 11/09/09
If you have a partnership, an employee or a team, you absolutely must take the time to pro-actively handle conflict. Here’s why…. - Can you really let go? :: 09/09/09
Two big things to consider: control and the illusion of control. What would it take for you to let go? Some interesting ideas, so, read on....
- There’s No Escape: Who You are is What you Do :: 31/07/09
Here's an insightful story--an example of a client's learning--that illustrates the truth of the title of this blog. Who you are truly is what you do...and, there is no escaping that fact, no matter how you justify it! Read on...
- Are you mistaking your schedule for your life? :: 06/09/00
Are you so busy that your like that infamous swamp-drainer who was focused ony on the existing, demanding alligators? You may be mistaking your schedule for your life. Read on...
